19 Working Tips to Help You Date Again After Divorce – Divorce isn’t a bad omen, neither does it mean that finding love again is impossible. Many people have failed in their marriages; whether the failure was from their end or on their partner’s end, regardless of what the case might have been, everyone deserves another chance to be happy. This article will guide you on how to get back on your feet after divorce and find love again.
19 Working Tips to Date After Divorce
Tip 1. Reflect on what went wrong in the first place
Tip 2. Let go of your anger and unforgiveness
Tip 3. Reach out for help
Tip 4. Look out for pattern
Tip 5. Establish what you need from your next relationship
Tip 6. Leave your comfort zone
Tip 7. Take it slowly
Tip 8. Don’t lose sight of yourself
Tip 9. Always be transparent
Tip 10. Have deep conversations
Tip 11. Avoid stereotyping
Tip 12. Set reasonable expectations
Tip 13. Tell your loved ones about your dates
Tip 14. Trust your gut feeling
Tip 15. Be willing to do the work
Tip 16. Partake in your favourite social activities while also finding new ones
Tip 17. Have a good time with your friends
Tip 18. Consider internet dating
Tip 19. Be cautious of scammers, liars and losers
Putting the Tips to Practice
Reflect on what went wrong in the first place:
Sometimes, in the midst of us trying to make excuses for ourselves or our partners, we may miss the
vital point, which is when things began to get sour! It might have been a gradual or few frivolous issues that accumulated to what you couldn’t handle anymore. For instance, as little as your partner failing to flush the toilet after use might have been the beginning of your losing interest in the relationship, which might have led to other more significant issues. You have to sit down and reflect on all that transpired between you and your spouse. If you can handle it, sit out with your ex and talk about it (talk things out). If the situation is mendable, good for you; if not, you will learn about your flaws and get it right in your next relationship.
Let go of your anger and unforgiveness:
Even if you have reflected on all that transpired in your marriage and realized that you did your best, you put in all your efforts, and if it didn’t go well, you need not worry about it. Just let it go! Feel free to be sober, to cry, to shout, but let it go. Forgiving your partner is forgiving yourself and making room for another chance to be happy again and also to find love once again.
Read: 8 Tips That Will Help You Detect a Liar Within Seconds
Reach out for help:
Keep it in mind that you need someone to lean on, you need a support team; you need someone to talk to. Leaving a relationship or getting divorced is not something not to sob about. You have every reason to cry, to feel down, to feel depressed, but you also need to talk to someone. You must know that it takes two to tango, so the broken marriage is not entirely your fault. It would help if you had someone in a better place to talk to you so you do not lose your sanity. Seek help from family, friends, therapists or other professional counsellors. Even this article can serve as a guide.
Look out for patterns:
There may be something you have missed; for instance, before your relationship or marriage went sour, there must have been an irredeemable pattern that resulted in unbearable consequences. If you or your partner have talked about these patterns, you will have to improve in your next relationship so it does not affect your happily ever after.
Establish what you need from your next relationship:
It would help if you were honest with your new partner and discussed things that led to your divorce, as this will help you and your new partner to live happily. Point out what is a deal breaker for you and specifically spell out what you want from the relationship.
Leave your comfort zone:
Sometimes, staying indoors and sobbing for months is not the solution to your divorce; give yourself time to cry and weep when you have called enough, stand up, cheer up and move out, meet new people, associate with new people, visit the parks, go to a friend’s party do not just lock yourself up. Go out and open up to new people, leave your comfort zone, and go out to socialize.
Take it slowly:
You do not necessarily need to jump into a new relationship. Take it slowly, mingle, and make friends first; when you find it comfortable enough, you can move on from being just friends to being more than friends. Just take it slow, one step at a time.
Don’t lose sight of yourself:
While going out to find a new partner, remember that all that matters is you! Take good care of yourself and choose a partner that complements you. Do not just accept to date anyone because you need someone to fill the gap of your broken marriage. Choose someone who complements you, who makes you feel good about yourself, who respects and values you, not someone who will remind you of your past and miseries.
Always be transparent:
Be transparent in your new relationship; let your partner know your pain and your dislike; you also create a safe space to discuss with your partner how you can make your relationship better so it does not lead to what had happened in your past marriage.
Have deep conversations:
Talk about personal hurts, goals, desires, and what you want to achieve from the relationship. Talk about marriage if you love having children soon, so you know what to expect from your partner.
Avoid stereotyping:
Do not be stereotypical; make room to accept people regardless of race or colour, and keep an open mind because the person who might complete you may not be of the same belief as you but might possess everything you desire and always wanted in your spouse.
Set reasonable expectations:
Do not make up imaginary or unrealistic demands on your new partner; set expectations that sound attainable unless you intend not to find love again.
Tell your loved ones about your dates:
In your desire to get over your divorce and start associating with new people and making new friends, be sure to tell your friends, your family or loved ones about your dates in case of emergencies or unforeseen circumstances.
Trust your gut feeling:
Your gut is never wrong! Give it a try. If it doesn’t work out, then it doesn’t change anything; it doesn’t change who you are or what you are, but if it does work out, there is love waiting for you. Whatever happens or is the case, you have nothing to lose in trusting your guts. Give it a try.
Be willing to do the work:
Do not just curl yourself up because your last marriage or relationship did not work out; instead, be prepared to do your best in the next relationship. If it means you are texting first or calling first, then do it; put in a little effort to ensure that the relationship works out.
Partake in your favourite social activities while also finding new ones:
No matter how long you keep yourself locked up, it won’t make you feel any less good; rather than live in sadness, find time to participate in your social activities; it will keep your mind off the pain and the hurt.
Have a good time with your friends:
Join your friends for a boys’/girls’ night party and meet new people. Do not just lock yourself up because of your divorce; associate, take your time out to be with your friends, have fun and celebrate with them.
Consider internet dating:
If you are not the type that loves going to public events, then consider internet dating; there is Facebook dating and a host of other dating platforms that you can leverage to meet new friends and a spouse.
Be cautious of scammers, liars and losers:
There are many people out there trying to be who they are, not just to gain favours, especially on the internet, so it is better to get to talk less, watch and listen more before trusting a new partner, so you do not become a victim of circumstance.
Conclusion
Finding love again after divorce takes courage. It takes courage to decide to let go of the past, of the hurt, of the pains, of the disappointment; of course, people will talk, and people will judge, but all that matters at the end of the day should be your happiness so do not let anything or anyone tell you that you cannot find love after divorce! Sob, cry, reminisce over your broken marriage after that, take a cool bath, go out, associate, and meet new people. Do not put your life on hold because of a broken relationship or marriage. To find happiness again, you deserve it.
